Antichrist

I really want to recommend this film for its originality in storytelling, but it is very difficult to do so. Love blood and gore? Death of children? Dead Fetuses? Unnatural treatment to sexual organs? Creepy forest animals? Well hold on to your hat, how I've got a treat for you!

Under Great White Northern Lights

Now here's a film I didn't expect to enjoy as much as I did. I'm not a huge fan of "rockumentaries", save The Beatles' films and another exception. Those are technically fake though, so they don't count! I'm not entirely sure why I don't usually like them, but it may be because very few of my favorite bands have ever made a documentary before, or at least until now. Watching the Metallica rockumentary, Some Kind of Monster, was just painful for me, because here is one of the "baddest" bands in the world, and they are all whining and sucking there thumbs throughout the entire film. Every time someone criticizes someone else, the person has a hissy fit and cries about it for ten minutes. This happened so much that the band actually needed a therapist to console them and put them in time-outs. I swear, that movie had more pointless girly drama in it than Meet the Kardashians. Needless to say, it changed my perspective on the band quite a bit, which I'm sure was their goal, but it wasn't for the better.

The Man Who Fell to Earth

David Bowie is not unknown to make strange movies. While that doesn't necessarily mean they are poorly made films, it just means they aren't always everyone's cup of tea. So I wasn't expecting anything different from him when watching this, and rightfully so. I will try to summarize it as short as I can: The Man Who Fell to Earth is based on the book of the same name, written by Walter Tevis. It features a man (Newton) from a distant planet (which isn't entirely specified in the film), who is sent to Earth to bring water back to his home, since his planet has run out of it, and they are apparently entirely dependent on it as humans are. Fortunately, Newton has a lot of knowledge of new, useful technologies which have not yet been discovered yet by Earth. He trades this knowledge for money and power, in hopes of being able to somehow get some water back to his dying people. In doing so, Newton is slowly corrupted by his newly-found wealth and fame, and it distracts him from his important mission, the reason he is on Earth in the first place. During his stay, he becomes an alcoholic (arguably) a sex-addict, and even a television addict. Eventually, the government finds out he is an alien, and they kill off his primary business partners, who were his only hope for funding his mission. They then hold him captive for several weeks for "testing", until, they eventually become bored of him and they let him go. After all the time that has passed Newton looks just as young as when he first arrives, and everyone around him is obviously aging and growing old. Despite this, Newton is now broke and alone in the world. Now that his secret is out, his girlfriend left him, his business partners are dead, and his friends have abandoned him. His once superior and valuable knowledge is now irrelevant. His mission eventually becomes a lost cause to him, and he gives up on it entirely.

Coco to Finally Hit the Big Screen?

Looks like Conan O'Brien's newly announced comedy tour, called "The Legally Prohibited from Being Funny On Television Tour" may be filmed and documented, according to /Film. So it looks like although he won't be on TV for a while, films are a different story. Obviously, this is a great news for those of us who are suffering from Coco withdrawal and those who won't have a chance to check out the tour in person (such as myself). It also might be a nice introduction into O'Brien's world for those who haven't yet given him a chance, because The Tonight Show obviously didn't get that job done very well. Not that was anybody's fault, of course. Especially not you, Jay Leno. Totally not your fault. Nope. Not at all. The Jay Leno Show was just terrific.

Michael Caine Wants Those Little Sh*ts Out of His Neighborhood

The directorial debut from Daniel Barber, Harry Brown is about a retired ex-Marine (Sir Michael Caine) who lives in a bad part of Britain, that is overrun by drugs and thugs. As a widower, he has no one to talk to but his best friend. His best friend is murdered by some thugs. So Brown wants justice, and goddammit, he's going to get it. The trailer doesn't really show anything entirely original or new as far as revenge stories go, but I can't remember the last time I saw Caine in a film that wasn't at least somewhat decent, so I have my hopes up for this one. Not exactly what I would expect from Caine, either, especially since he just recently turned 77 years-old. Eat that, Clint Eastwood. If this trailer has taught me anything, I think I will think twice about pissing off my elderly neighbors from now on. Trailer below for your viewing pleasure.

Kid Seriously Loves Goof Troop

An aspiring filmmaker, Ted Sowards, has remade the opening scene from the animated Disney film Goof Troop into a live short, shot-by-shot, using "$100, a borrowed camera, 90+ supportive friends, Final Cut Studio, and lots of free time" during the time-span of six months. I must say, I'm impressed, partially because I must have watched Goof Troop about ten dozen times as a kid, so obviously this brings back old memories. This also proves what one can do with such limited resources to make a quality film, as long one has the ambition and patience to do so. You might be scratching your head and asking yourself "That's great and all, but why Goof Troop?" Because Goof Troop is awesome, that's why.

Speechless

The above picture is Batman battling a Great White Shark with a lightsaber. You're welcome.